who me?

I was told I was TOO skinny for Thanksgiving!
 I think NOT!
I'm in the range of 115-118, and for as short as I am, that is not low at all.
I'm still 15-20 pounds heavier than I was before I had kids!
I will NOT attempt that, because I know I would look sick if I lost another 15-20 pounds.
I haven't stepped on the scale since Thanksgiving...we were gone almost a week, had thanksgiving and a wedding....I'll wait a week to make sure i have all the damage gone!

I HATE to shop, but went shopping to have some alone time while we were gone.
  I found these 2 sweater dresses.
  hubby was happy with the looks.
  (i'll be wearing tights, leggings, or skinny jeans under the striped one)

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

strange..... things are happening to me....

there's no doubt about it!

I don't know how, or why, or maybe I do,

but don't want to think it is really THAT simple.....

I have been a migraine sufferer, since i was in FIRST grade. 

 I'm about to turn 41. THAT is a LONG time!

I didn't know back then they were migraines.

In fact, until I was about 22,

I had been told:

cut her hair (it was VERY LONG) because it was straining my eyes and wearing in a tight ponytail could cause headaches.  Yeah, ok. *check didn't help

She needs glasses, her vision is causing headaches *check

didn't help, funny my sight is perfect and haven't worn glasses again.

allergies....testing done, none enough to need shots

Wisdom teeth: had ALL of them EXTRACTED....nope, didn't help

TMJ: braces (already had straight teeth) didn't help headaches

 

When i was pregnant with my first, it was the first time in my life i went longer than a week with NO headache (did not know i was having migraines, although i would puke, was sensitive to light, couldn't lift my head up, and many other things that SCREAMED migraine)

 I was given allergy meds, constantly.

 

I tried taking BC pills after that pregnancy. after 3 kinds and feeling like i was DYING from headaches, bodyaches  (tired, achy, pregnancy feelings)

I said ENOUGH!

The Dr. finally said,

I think you should throw away the allergy meds because I'm SURE you are experiencing migraines!

AHHHHHHHHHHH!

we tried LOTS of meds,

lots wouldn't work, some would work, but stop after taking them a few times,

there were meds to take when i felt any symptoms, meds when I woke up with a RAGING one...

there were preventatives....

I was put through all kinds of test

 and it was discovered that I am having more than one type of migraine.

 

I have them from hormones, most definitely, because i can tell you when i will have them, were I am in my cycles, and i would have them often because every rise and fall of hormones caused them! But was told in 1st grade, it would NOT have been hormonal yet!

I have triggers: smells, foods, eviromental things, bad sleeping habits, etc, that will bring them on too.

I have also been told they are neuro.

I started having 5 out of 7 days of migraines....that's NOT living!

I was asked about and told i  possibly could have MS,

and that the lobes in my brain try to synchronize every 3-10 seconds,

which basically showed "seizure" activity. but i don't have seizures like one would think of a seizure.

I have migraines.

that i cannot function, cannot eat, cannot lift my head, cannot come out of the dark,

cannot stand ANY sound

 (Ive been found on the floor beacuase i couldn't hold my head up much less stand up, with the phone in my hand, in the dark, crying because i needed to call for help and the tone of dialing numbers on the phone made my head feel like i was being beaten with a sledge hammer while being squeezed in a vice)

seizure meds are EVIL!

i went from ADHD to if i sat down, i was OUT....COLD!

I have NO energy, NO motivation....

and i had just gotten remarried.

I was 34.

I had 2 kids, my new husband did not have any.

we weren't sure if we wanted any at the time, but new we needed to decide because of our ages (he was 37).

The Dr. wanted me on the meds for at least 5 years.

UMM, 34+5=39

i was not waiting to try at 39. my husband 42..

what would the meds have done to my body by then?

i had kids that would be 19 and 12 by then...

the gap was already huge, but to be that much more...

the birth defect warnings were HORRIBLE,

but i can't take BC pills, so I had to make SURE it didn't happen.

I NEVER got complete relief from my migraines.

they lessoned, yes.

for those risk, the side affects (i gained lots of weight in a SHORT time)

i took the chance against the NEURO's orders and weaned off the meds.

 

they didn't come back as bad,

WHEW!

I was pregnant a few months later!

I thank God there are no birth defects from that!

I had another child, SOON after.

I had migraines through both prenancies.

after the baby,

I made  "I have to take better care of me" my motto

because I was in the worse shape ever.

MEANTALLY

PHYSICALLY

I got the band when he was 1 1/2.

I got healthy, i exercised, ate right, lost weight,

and i started having them really bad again!

I had them almost every single day for almost 3 months.

I got back on the preventative, and asked for a different NEROU if I had to go back to one....

and the preventative helped, for the most part.

no side affects, so i stayed on them.

after a while i was told i could stop them,

but i was afraid, and since I was not having side effects,

asked if i can stay on them longer.

he said, yes, it's no harm at all.

 

i went to my GYN visit and we were discussing how i had been doing

(my weight was down again from being up while not being able to run for so long)

the Dr. was pleased, and asked other questions.

the MS was mentioned, the migraines were mentioned, anxiety was mentioned...

he suggested a vitamin:

OPTIVITE (PMT)

he said he has had patients have great results with lots of things they suffered from stimming from hormones and deficiencies with have.

it's SIX. BIG. PILLS. A. DAY!  

uh, i'm not sure.

i stopped the preventative, which didn't get rid of all of them anyhow...

I finally ordered them, started with 2 and worked up to 6 now.

(i also add 3 tablets of magnesium because of the migraines and muscle cramps/spasms)

after the first week of taking them, my migraines STOPPED.

no symptoms that one may be on the way.....

i have had a full cycle and was shocked the day that i did start because usually my boday warns me in SOOO many ways ahead of time.

i didn't have a headache before, during or after, which at least ONE of those tiimes were ALWAYS a GIVEN, usually more than one, or the ENTIRE time it was here!

UNBELIEVABLE....

VITAMINS?! 

after all the CRAZY stuff i've been told, all the scary meds i've taken....

I feel great, energetic, and besides that first pregnancy, over 20 years ago,

i have NEVER gone almost a month and a half with NO migraine, not even a HEADACHE!

 

the other STRANGE (and i am NOOOOOTTTT complaining ONE BIT) thing that's happening is...

I weighed in at 118.2 this morning!!!!

I'm not doing ANYTHING to drop pounds like that....

have NOT added crazy amounts of exercize, or changed my eating...

it's just happening....

like i felt it should.

eat/move/maintain

eat healthy/exercize normal/lose

my body is doing what it did way back before it went out of whack!

I never thought i could get past 115 again.

I thought that would be a WAY OUT THERE DREAM....

hummmmm, maybe i can.

 

i was 92-96 or so before kids. 

there is NOOOOO way i could pull under 100 off

without lookiing like i need to be admitted to a hospital

(92-124 is my 'ideal range' for my height)

i'm not sure if i'll see where this goes,

if i'll set new goals,

I don't want it to be a struggle every single day.

i want to live.

I want to EAT.  MOVE. LIVE. 

like a normal person, not have my life revolve around what someone decided my

'ideal or even perfect numbers'

should be.

 

i had to work HARD through the 120's for every single pound...

in the last month, i have watched the scale go done every single time i stepped on it!

WOW....

this is what normal living is like?

 

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

I was trying for once a month....

at least, but it's been longer.
It's been a BUUUUSSSSSYYYY few months.
4 kids, 4 schools, trips before school started, shopping for school, 4 birthdays, a huge birthday party....

I had been feeling blah and felt like I wasn't doing too good with staying in my "range" that i had been, and to my surprise, Saturday 8/25, I was down to my newest since surgeries low of 121!
FINALLY into the 'healthy' BMI range (i don't go by that and try to not let it bother me since I know it's different per individual and doesn't include someone with muscle and someone without..... If i were to get to the low end of my height, i'd have to weigh UNDER 100!)

i tried on my juniors size 5 SKINNY jeans that i got a few months ago when all my jeans were too big to wear Saturday and they are big! the waist, hips and thighs were LOOSE! 

I won't get on the scale until next week because the party happened (i didn't do too bad that day) and well, there was cake left.  i ate some again sunday and a piece again today (monday).  I need the family to finish the rest TODAY so it is GONE!!!

I'm amazed......it's been almost 3 1/2 years since the band, 2 years 4 months since skin removal, and i'm STILL having changes!!! AMAZING!!!! (glad it's in the RIGHT direction!)
Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

Holding steady....

but I have set up a game plan to get farther down.

I've been bouncing around 124-126,

 but really want to get down 10 more.

1) UP the protein

2) Drink more water

3) Make/Drink "green" drinks/smoothies for breakfast

4) cut out sugar

 (i don't eat a lot, but if i want ice cream,

 i may buy frozen yogurt with regular sugar. 

I cannot eat any sugar substitutes because it triggers my migraines. 

I also started drinking coffee in the morning, with creamer and sugar. 

 that needs to be cut out!)

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

no promises

I know the last time i posted I said i would stick to this...
so no promises being made this time.
I have read so many blogs that when they were far out from surgery
and started to gain they stopped posting,   I don't want people to think
that no one has long term success with the band.
I was banded in march of '09
I lost my weight pretty quickly.
I had plastic surgery in April of '10.
at the end of 2010, my back would not allow me to do
much of anything and the Dr. told me to listen to my body....
i listened to depression and gained 40 pounds by doing NOTHING and eating whatever i wanted.

in early 2011 i found a lump in my breast (thank GOD it is apparently scare tissue),

I had cancer cells removed from my cervic (i go ON TIME to my yearly, the lab screwed up and never sent the abnormal results to my Dr. or me until SIX months later!  My Dr. then called, i had to do a biopsy and it was removed and have since had a CLEAN test done again!) in the beginning of Oct.

THEN....the end of oct i started with migraines EVERYDAY again (i have them often, but the last time they were this often was in 2005).  I was finally at my wits end and was able to see the Dr. in January.

by then i had already started to change (read: get back to what i should have been doing all along...band rules and healthy eating MOST of the time) my eating.  I had seen the 170's before this! 
I went to the Dr told him everything that was going on (my weight was 164!) and he said something that had been mentioned before: MS! 
I was scared, but very determined to change my life, my health, whatever it took because i have a lot of years left to raise kids!  (i have a college kid who i would like to see marry and have his own family.  i have a middle school kid, who i would like to see go off to college.  i also have 2 little ones, one going to kindie and the other pre-k!!!!  they NEED thier mommy!!!)

I had orders to have an MRI specifically for MS, and asked besides meds (because the side affects are usually WORSE than the problems i take meds for) what is the BEST thing i can do for myself if it IS MS?
his answer: "Be as healthy as possible.  When you have an 'attack' you will recover quicker if you are already strong."

I went home and started running again... if i'm gonna end up in a wheelchair one day, i'm gonna run until that day comes! 
my back seems to bother me sometimes, but apparently the bulging disc had lots of time to heal and it's not pinching whater nerve was making me fall.  i'm on a migraine prevention med that is helping for the most part.  my BP is GREAT, and i'm down....to 127 pounds!  my goal has been 124 and i'd love to get under 120 but really, anything under 130, and i'm happy.
I wear a small-large shirt depending on the make (large is usually for the boob area and usually in Jr.s size)  I have gotten back into my 4's and have room in them but not ready to go smaller just yet.

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

Been gone way too long

I had a bulging disc, and 2 other vertebra that  have tears that have left no 'cushioning' and was/is causing lots of back pain. 
sitting around more because it hurts to stand and my legs would go out and i would fall, and NO running (i tried, i fell, it hurt!)
not adjusting my food intake, not making good choices on what i did eat....
all excuses.

i'm up, way up.
but it's going DOWN....
Son 1 went to college, we moved the kids rooms around and i got a workout room!  a treadmill, an elliptical, a Wii (with lots of exercise games/stuff), exercise ball, adjustable weights  a big tv on the wall, netflix, satellite, DVD player/recorder, anything i could possibly need to do exercise and not get bored.  i have new towels, even a shelf filled with bottles of water.
I got the couch 2 5 k app on my phone, i got a heartrate monitor that tells me everything, time, distance, calories burned (gps if i go on the road)...
i really want to get a body bugg or gowear fit...maybe for a reward...hummm.
I'm set.
 no more excuses.

today, i got the kids to school, came home did the first day of c25k, stretched, had water, salad for lunch, got it all out of the way early so i couldn't make excuses....
i want to lose 40 pounds. 
i'm 160.  how did i let myself go THAT far? 
i WILL wear those bikinis i wore in 2009 again!

Wanna B thin again...is almost not quite there!

freaking out...

my hotmail account not associated with this blog, just HAPPENED to have a lapband email address in it and was hacked and sent out emails to EVERYONE i ever emailed from that account.
i have NO idea if anyone would have noticed the email addresses since it says my maiden name AND something about viagra.....
so i'm going PRIVATE again.

sorry.
i haven't posted in forever again anyhow.
i feel like i'm drowning.  i can't climb out of the whole i'm in.

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

Oct. 7 Here i go...

I said i was going to start posting, and i didn't.
Today, i signed up for UFT (ultimate fitness training) class,.  It's like bootcamp. 5 weeks, 2 classes a week.   there are only 3 of us, so she's going to kick our butts!  Class starts next Tuesday (classes are on Tues/Thurs for an hour every week for 5 weeks)
we did a pre test for times on some runs, jumps and such.  we did measurements, weight, and body fat.
I'm SICK of myself!  i cannot believe the scale said 152.  ONE HUNDRED FIFTY TWO pounds.  i was 124 at the beginning of summer.  it's not really the numbers on the scale, either.  i TRY to not let that affect me.  it's the fact that my jeans from last year are TIIIIGHT.  the same pants that fit even before my TT!

it's called thinking i could do this on my own.  i have barely no restriction.  BUT, that's not it.
 I'm eating JUNK...and a lot of it!

SO, during our assesment, we had to write 2 fitness goals and 2 nutrition goals.  We are also encouraged to TRACK food.  i have not been good at doing this.  EVER.  if i'm not sure about serving sizes, i measure, not a problem, but actually tracking what i eat.  i struggle to remember to do it. or I just put it off.

I'm going to attempt this.
It's going to make for boring post, but i'm going to do it here.

Today, Oct 7, 2010, i will start tracking my food, exercise and water.  I know it will help me to do better, be more aware of what's going into my body and do better with getting the right amount of protien, fruit, veggies and water.

Food:
Coffee with sugar and creamer  153 cals 40 carbs  (gotta cut this out!)
Greek yogurt 140 cals 20 carbs 0 Fat 14 protein
avocado 70 cals 37 carbs 6.5 fat .9 protein
cottage cheese w/jello:  160 cals 0 Fat 24 carbs 21 protein

Water:
16 ozs

Exercise:
25 minutes walking/running (C25k program week 3)
assesment for UFT class









Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

It's been a LONNNNNG time ....

and good and bad during that time.
I have not had restriction for a LONG time.  I had even more taken out before my PS making it less. 
I went back 2 times and i'm STILL not at my sweet spot.
I have gained....YES, after surgery to remove the skin, GAINED...
This just shows me i cannot do this alone! 
My band is there for a reason and i'm not using it like it should be.
I will be making an appointment for another fill this week.
I've stopped going to curves and started a regular type of gym.  I like the options now much better.  the same ol thing everyday with Curves was getting boring.
i WILL get this weight off before i have to go to my followup with my PS.  Even if my 6 month appointment ends up being at 7-8 months out!!
I'm still in size 6's. but at one time my 4's were getting too big (remember, i'm only 4'10 1/2" SHORT).

I had gone private, because after posting pics, i chickened out. 
I'll leave it public for a while longer and if you would like to follow, send me an email to wannabthinagain at y@hoo dot com and i'll authorize you.

I will do my best to post more often.  i KNOW it will help me to stay on track.
Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

another thing....

I didn't mention this in any of the previous post (i just posted a VERY LONG POST catching up on my recovery)....
before surgery, i went get an unfil.  i forget what he said i had left, 1. something....because i was SOOOOO scared of throwing up after surgery. 
well, thank goodness the tightness of the muscle repair makes me feel like i'm full quickly beacuse i have NO RESTRICTION WHATSOEVER!  let's just say we went to a buffet place and i had an entire plate of full (a few bites of a BUNCH of things) and i FINISHED it. THEN, went to the dessert bar and did the same thing...bunch of bites of a bunch of things and FINISHED IT!

i don't feel hungry very often, but it is SCARY if there is food that i really like or want to eat, there is NO LIMIT to what i can put down.....bread, pasta, ANYTHING! 
SOOOOOO, Monday i have a fill appointment! LOL 

I want to go eat chinese SO BAD TOMORROW....like a last supper before i can't eat like that again!  LOL  thank goodness i've learned something in this year of being banded.  FOOD is not the most important thing.  i don't have to have it ALL right now.  i CAN go out to have chinese and have just a little and be satisfied after my restriction is back. 

also, all that salt would make me really swell and i LOOOOOOOOVE seeing my flat belly, i don't want to CAUSE it to swell!!! 

this is with my compression garment on at the end of the day, so there is swelling.

THOSE are little girl sized shorts!!  Shirt, size small.

24 days PO

 FLAT BELLY!

scar flattening & lightening

belly button covered since i'm still treating it.

my PS did the scars on the inside of it and it takes a little bit for it to 'dry' up

i LOVE MY BELLY BUTTON!!!

4 pregnacies made my old one HUGE and DEEP...it's TINY now!

i have a waist NOW...It doesn't show as much in that pic with the evening swell, but i now have a waist that goes IN instead of straight down my sides.

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

going to cheat a little...

since i didn't go back and type out the surgery story, i'm going to copy and paste some of post from LBT.

April 12, 2010

I'm back at home resting.

I don't really feel the tummy tuck incision or the breast insicisions. I mostly feel the lipo. under my arms where the bra fits and the back area. my back is very sore from not being able to stand up straight too.

he ended up doing a tiny bit of lipo at the very top of my inner thighs. he originally thought if he had done that, i would be left with extra skin, but he decided just a little bit should be ok.

he pulled the tummy muscles in tight, moved my port over a bit (when he tightened the muscles it moved my port to the middle of my belly, so he put it back to where it was at.

all my belly stretch marks are GONE! my port scare isn't completely gone, but it is RIGHT above my TT scar, so it's not visible with a swimsuit or panties on.

I went with 275 cc gel implants which should put me at a 34 D. right now, i feel like i have breast up to my collar bones! LOL i KNOW they will settle down and the swelling will reduce, but for now, it's actually funny to see them THAT large!

i haven't taken any after pics yet. i can't stand up straight and everything is still covered with steri strips, so it's hard to tell anyhow.

i cannot believe i didn't do this, but i did NOT take ANY before pics! They did take some the day before my surgery and she said she can email me those, so i figured i would use those.

The Dr. said he took off 4.7 pounds of skin off of my belly and 4 something of fat. he said i didn't have much fat at all. What he did take out, he injected back into my bootie to help contour my FLAT butt. THAT, i felt. it feels like i'm sitting on golf balls! it's not AS bad today, but I was told today i can start doing massages to help with that.

I'm sure i have left some things out (thanks to the medicine!) I'm sleeping a LOT, which until my little ones come home is a good thing....helps the time pass quicker.

as soon as i can get some pics up, i will post them.

I'm SOOOOO thirlled to be on THIS side of the flatlands!!! I cannot wait to see what it will look like when all the swelling goes down!!!

April 15, 2010
I cannot WAIT for the swelling to go down to see the contouring of my waist due to to the muscles being pulled in!!


I JUST added one after pic (on LBT), you have to be a friend to view it, and it's in the during folder.

as for the pain, the TT and the Breast do not hurt...the lipo area's....OUCH! I can only imagine had i had a LOT of lipo done! oh, and the fat injections into the but, that hurt since i have had to sit/lay down so much. it was like laying on golf balls! LOL i'm SURE it will be worth every bit of pain though!!! i have always had tailbone problems because my tailbone must have been fractured as a child and didn't heal correctly. even when overweight, it hurt to sit, without the weight, it was SO MUCH WORSE! i'm hoping the fat injections helps even just a little!

yes, the littles are still at my moms ane we are going to play it be ear as for when they are coming back. the original plan was for them to come back this weekend, but she said they can stay until Wed, possibly thursday, so we will see how i'm feeling by the weekend and go from there. i'm missing them like crazy, but i have to admit, i'm really taking advantage of taking my meds every hour i can, and getting as much rest as I can while they are gone.

each day, i feel a tiny bit better. by the end of the day, i'm totally DONE. my BACK KILLS me from walking haunched over all day.

but i would do it over again to have the results!!! i cannot wait to see what a month or 2 will look like if now looks as good as it makes me FEEL!!!

good luck to everyone that has just had surgery or about to. sorry i've not been around. Between resting A LOT from the meds and my computer went out (i'm on hubby's now....he just went buy me a new one, but it will probably be a week or 2 before it's all set up since the screen went out and he doesn't go back to work until next week. The IT at work is going to help him transfer everything.

thanks again for all the well wishes and i can't wait to keep sending updates!!!

April 17, 2010
yesterday i called my Dr.office to let them know that for 3 days in a row, i had a low enough output in my drains (and it was going down more with each day), so they let me have them out!! OH MY GOODNESS!!! what a difference that made! it's didn't hurt, it was a big, um, STRANGE feelings, but i lived through it without screaming, or hitting the nurse! lol


Ok, i have a question. the ONLY thing i had done to my thighs is at the VERY top because they touched a very little bit. WELL, my thighs, which have NEVER been big, are about three times the size the normal size! is that the swelling just working it's way out or is something wrong? it does not HURT AT ALL.

I'm feeling really good, i get tired really easy, understandably though. the tape under my breast and around the nipples make me want to scratch THROUGH my skin though! under my arms are very sore too. i did have a bit of lipo done there to, so it will lay flat once the implants settle into place.

other than that, i still do not feel my boobs (from the front, only under the arms) or my tummy tuck!

i cannot wait until the swelling goes down and i see the final results!!!

I have to add that even with the swelling, i am TOTALLY PLEASED with my results.  even if it were to stay like it is now, i would have NO REGRETS!  i'm just amazed that 'this' isn't even the final results...it's going to get even better!!! 


April 19, 2010

Thank goodness, the swelling in my thighs are going down a little more each day!! I can still feel a little soreness when i've been sitting a while and get up. After a few steps, it's not bad at all.Wann B thin again...is almost there!



the swelling under my arms is all that i still really feel. if i'm not doing anything, it don't feel it at all, but if i move them, i feel it....like i said, mostly just VERY sore feeling.

i'm watching the scale go down more and more each day....THAT is a GREAT thing considering one day (since surgery, with the compression garment, drains, and all...i saw 145!!! i about passed out!!!!


this morning, it was down to 133, with compression garment, clothes, had already eaten and all!!

i'm so impatient...i cannot wait for the swelling to go down!

I'm completely off of all my pain meds. this morning i took 2 tylenol just because i felt stiff when i woke up (i slept the ENTIRE day yesterday! my husband was so worried about me because i hadn't taken any meds, but i slept and slept and slept....then, other than an hour (i watched Ruby at 2 a.m. because he had recorded it for me) i even slept ALL NIGHT!!


today, i'm fine. don't know what that was all about other than i REALLY needed rest!

I added some new pics in swimsuits (on LBT) this morning to my "during album". (you have to be a 'friend' to see them).

April 20, 2010
someone on LBT posted:
So glad everything is going well. I hope this means you are happy with everything that was done. Any advice for me, my surgery is in 16 days. Preop appt tommorrow. Getting real scared!
My reply:

I'm VERY happy!!! i cannot wait to see once the swelling goes down!



REST, eat healthy (it helps healing), drink lots of water, REST, let others do for you.


xi made sure i was VERY prepared for a month of not being able to do much. i shopped for a month, i cooked or bought things my hubby could cook easily for a month, i just wanted to make sure no matter how long it took to heal, i didn' t have to stress about it.


the only thing i forgot to do is get someone to come CLEAN for me!!!! 4 boys and a hubby....can you imagine after a 4-6 weeks what the bathrooms and such will be like?! LOL

you will be fine!!! GOOD LUCK!!!

May 1, 2010
I'm now 24 days PO.



i added some pics (on LBT)  that i just took (so you will see the evening swelling...which is not bad, but i LOOOOOVE the morning when it's even flatter!!) If i haven't added you as a friend, just send a request and i'll add you. the album in private. They are in the during folder.

Tummy tuck has being looking better with each passing day. still no problems and no pain.

the swelling under my arms around to my back is still there. i hope it goes away SOON!

Have i said how much i LOVE my belly button? i'm still having to clean it out and cover it but it's looking better everyday! my PS does such GREAT BB's!

my breast are feeling better each day too, slower pace (the sides...nothing else really hurt other than the extreme ITCHING!) they still feel high and tight, can't wait until they are settled!


around the areola has some places that i'm a little concerned about, but will call the dr. on monday if it continues to do this. (it has little spots that look like puss under the skin, several of the spots have popped and drained and have a little bit of blood under the skin now. my concern is that my port scar did something simular 4 months out and it left a darker spot on the scar in that one place. I don't want this to look like that.

i tried on some size 4's i had in my closet and they FIT!!!


no muffin top or anything!


i even wore them out the other day when we went shopping.


it's weird, the feel tight because the muscle repair makes you feel like you have a corset on.... but they weren't, i could put my compression garment on under them!

i still get tired really easy but i'm sure it doesn't help that i've had 2 kids sick for the past 2 weeks. The little one is waking up ALL NIGHT LONG, so i've not had more than a couple of hours of sleep at a time.


I'm planning to go back to working out (lightly) next week. I NEED it.....it's getting to me that i haven't done exercise in 4 weeks!


I cannot wait for a few months to pass to see what the results are going to look like after all the swelling and settling finishes!!!

Adding: this morning i was 126!  woo hoo!! 

Pics from 4/19/2010

Victoria Secret size small bottom and Med. tops

cannot wait for the swelling to finish going down!!

That's not stretch marks, because THOSE ARE ALL GONE!!!!!!

the marks you see are from the compression garment i have to wear for what seems like ETERNITY!!

Feeling more and more normal everyday! 

I haven't forgotten to retype everything....

i slept almost the entire day yesterday, so i wasn't online for  much at a time.

I survived....

ARGH!!!!! i guess that's what happens when i try posting at 3 a.m.! 
i had a post all typed out, hit a button, and POOF it all disappeared!
i'll put the pic back now and when i'm more awake and can make my thoughts sound like i'm not on meds (good ones too!) i'll try retyping it!

let's just say, i'm THRILLED and i can only imagine when the swelling goes down, i will feel like one hot mama!!! (one without all the stretchmarks to show because he was able to CUT THEM ALL AWAY!!  WOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!!

i added my 'before' pic just as a comparison, and i kinda edited the after one incase playboy gets ahold of it....i want good money if they are gonna use MY pic! ;-)  heehee

guess i won't get the discount....

after 11 days from now.

Thats ok though, i don't care if i have to pay full price

for an entire new wardrobe!!

It will be worth

EVERY.

SINGLE.

PENNY!

ELEVEN DAYS!

  i'm gonna have a FLAT belly,

PERKY boobs,

no more back fat,

no more boobs going around to my back,

no more muffin top!

all arrangements have been made for the kids.

money has been paid (OUCH!)

Hotel booked

just have to pick up my meds and wait for the day!!

sorry, but after Catherine mentioning being 'found out' from GOOGLE,
 i took my pics down.
I will post my PS pics on my LAPBANDTALK account if you would like to see them. 
I will post here when i put them up.

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

WOO HOO!!

Unless hubby's leave is denied for that week,

 my surgery will be on April 7th!

I was hoping they had an opening in March,

but that's ok. 

I have more time to get back to my low weight.

61 days and counting!!

Oh, and in other good news, the scale moved, just a little...131 this morning.  I'll take it!

my water intake is still slacking and it definitely is affected by it being cold.
so this morning, i set a timer on my phone to go off every 2 hours from 10 a.m. until 4 p.m. to remind me to DRINK a bottle of WATER! 
if i already had some water before 10 (since i usually do my coffee first thing) then that's extra.  after 4 is extra too...but between 10 and 4, if i drink 1 bottle every 2 hours, that is just a little more than 64/day.... what i should be doing!

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

Out of the closet...

ctually, standing right in front of it.

thought i would post these (again, but with a face) to show how on such a short person, the difference of losing what some don't consider A LOT.....to what others have to lose.

I was looking for a picture to change my desktop to (i change it often to different pics of my kids...they enjoy seeing what i picked) and came across these...YIKES!

this was the night before surgery.  OH how UNhappy i look.  it's funny how some days i ask, WHO is that person, and other days THAT is who i still see in the mirror!!

anyhow....me, out of the closet...and standing in front of it!  LOL

WOW....i'm so happy to not be that person anymore.

Edited to take pics down....GOOGLE is scaring me into being 'found out!'

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

C25K

I'm still going strong on the C25K. 
I actually did what you aren't suppose to do and skipped ahead. 
I originally was doing the same week, 6 days a week for a week.  That got old.  Then i decided to to each week until it was easy or i could increase my time. 
This week i did one day of week 4, then last night, I skipped to week 5 day 3. 
I ran TWENTY minutes straight!  I have VERY SHORT LEGS...i'm only 4'10.5"
I ran at 4.7 most of it, then, upped it to 5 when i had 5 minutes left, then up to 6 for the last minute. 
I did not die, i did not get totally out of breath and i'm not even sore today! 
I really didn't see being about to run a 5K in 30 minutes by the end of this, but if i have 3 weeks to work on speed, i'm sure it's doable now!
HA...probably right in time for my surgery and then i will not be able to run for who knows how long and then i'll have to start ALL over!  LOL

The scale really isn't budging, but it's not bothering me anymore.  I feel leaner than i did before at this weight and i'm sure the scale will move sooner or later.
we are hoping the taxes get deposited Friday morning and that i will get to call and book my date for surgery!

We are having a Super Bowl Party here on Sunday....GEAUX SAINTS!!!! and will have ALL. KINDS. OF. CRAP.....here for the eating.  I think i'm going to make a pot of turkey chili so i can fill up on THAT and it will keep the junk to a minimum. 


Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

it's getting closer!!! and *GASP* pics...

(face included!)  i may have a panic attack over this, and i'll probably take them down later....remember, i'm suppose to be ANONYMOUS!

We did our taxes yesterday!!! WOO HOO!! it's a GO!  I GET TO HAVE IT DONE!!
We will probably have our state in a week and federal in 2.  When the State gets here i get to call and book my date!  I have to put down $1000 to hold a date. 
IF there are dates open in MARCH, I MAY still be able to do it then instead of waiting until APRIL!  The plans that would have interfered with me having it in March have changed!  I can't wait to find out what dates are still available!!

in other news:
I have worked out and done the C25K 6 days a week!! 
water isn't as good as it should be everyday, but i'm working on that.  Anyone else find when it's cold, it's harder to get enough water?  in the summer, i have NO trouble, i probably get my days worth in by 2 PM!

The scales not moving like i would like, but, i'm NOT letting it get to me.  Obviouly, with running everyday, and my workout, i'm buring more than half of my calories that i'm eating.  I'm trying to really not focus on the NUMBER on the scale. 

Hubby & I when we made a trip out of my PS consult in November.

This was Dec.1st.  size 6 jeans (see my muffin top showing...I cannot wait until THAT is GONE!!!) Not sure of the top size...  that's the back on my 3yo and my doggie.

It was not until i saw this pic of me (with my littlest bit in the emergency room) that i thought my face looked thin!  why can we not see it when we 'see' ourselves everyday? 

After hubby took this pic, i told him, "ok, don't ever let me say i need to lose more because my face still doesn't look thin!"  i TRULY did NOT see this when looking in the mirror!

(this was the week of Christmas)

ok, I'm panicing now..... but here i go...pressing PUBLISH!

Edited: took pics down due to people being 'found out' from GOOGLE!

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

It was worse before it got better, but still haven't made it back to the best

I just re read my last post. 
On January 4th i was down to 131.  131!
This morning, i was 132.  I was HAPPY with myself this morning....
WHY?  because last week, there was a day that i stepped on the scale (i had a BAD week...eating/emotional/it was freaking COLD/every other excuse i could use...although i DID exercise)
and the scale said 139!  YES.....that was ONE HUNDRED THIRTY NINE! 
In November, i was 124.  i was .2 pounds away from a 'normal' weight and i was 4 pounds from my goal.  FOUR POUNDS to NINETEEN pounds away! 
I know, it was whatever i had eaten because i could not have gained (and then dropped) that much that quickly without eating non stop.

Things have been MUCH better though!
I am getting my water
I am making good food choices (i am probably still eating too often, but too often of good is better than too often/much of things i shouldn't eat!)
exercising (i've been working out and doing the C25k everyday.  i know it says 3 days a week, but i'm staying on the same week until it's easy and i can up my speed before going to the next week)
I am sleeping better (getting 8 hours lately!)

and the best part is that each day that passes, it's getting easier to make the right choices. 
I don't know why it took me so long to get back into the grove, but i'm SOOOO happy to be back in it!

as my clothes because too big, i would get rid of them because i did NOT want it to be that easy to put weight back on and have clothes to fit.  WELL....THAT may be what caused the kick in my butt!  LOL
My jeans were TIGHT...i couldn't wear a fitted shirt because it would look TERRIBLE!  i was having to keep my jacket or coat on to cover the muffin top!  LOL 
this morning, after putting on right out of the dryer jeans, wasn't that bad!  i still had a tiny muffin going on, but NOTHING like i had going on!!
small victories! 
it's also warmer here again... i think sometime this week it's going to be 76 degrees!!!!  i have realized that cold/winter affects me, BAD!  i NEED warmth and sunlight!!

in other news, we should be doing our taxes next week, should get our refund within 2 weeks of that, and when it hits the bank.....
I GET TO MAKE MY PLASTIC SURGERY APPOINTMENT!!!
my goal is to be AT goal (or at least to 124) by my date.  for my consult, the surgeon told me he didn't think i needed to lose anymore weight, that my results from PS would take care of what's still there that i didn't like (the lose skin, which makes me look heavier than i am).
I don't think 8-12 pounds is an outrageous goal for possibly 12 weeks (i'm thinking i'll have my surgery the week after Easter break April 14)  it would be harder, i think, had i NOT gotten down to the 124 already.  knowing i can do it with eating better, my workout and running (i had to add running to my normal exercise when i hit the plateau, which got me down to 124....TWICE!  Three times a charm, right?)

sorry, i rambled...i do have ADD, and it shows so much more than more weight i lose!

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!

not too shabby

I went to curves, i did a some of one of Jillian michaels videos, i ate lots of protien, drank lots of water.
i did have a couple of bite sized chocolates my son brought home from school. 
I emailed my Dr. about getting a fill.  i haven't heard from him yet, BUT.....today, for lunch, i ate veggie chili and was only able to eat about 1/2 a cup!  My real problem seems to be that i'm eating sliders.  if i eat solid protien, i seem to feel restriction. 
I still would like to get .25 cc's just to have a bit more restriction if i overdo anything.   that's were i was before all this out-of-the-blue tightness started happening and i wasn't thinking of food as often, i wasn't craving junk, and i was losing consistantly. 
i realize i'm close to goal and it's harder to lose the last few pounds, but i know i can at least maintain!!

i ended up getting on the scale this morning...wasn't awake (before my coffee) and did it out of habit.  it said 131!  whew...on my way back down! 
My husband is going to put the podcast for the c25k on my shuffle.  then, if i'm at home on the treadmill or out at the track, or in my neighborhood, i can do the program.

oh, and i'm sore...i knew i would be.  i just hope tomorrow isn't worse since it will be the 2nd day after raking....it hurts to cough and sneeze!

and i have to correct something i said yesterday.  Jillian michaels 30 day shred is 20 minutes, NOT 30! 

Wanna B thin again...is almost there!