I failed miserably!

I was afraid....afraid of what the holiday's would be like with very little restriction.....oh, yeah, i had to go get my fill taken out AGAIN! 
I got on the scale this morning, knowing it wasn't going to look good. AT. ALL.
I feel like the pilsbury dough boy, except a girl ;-).  I feel all puffy.  my fingers, my face, but ESPECIALLY my belly!  all those sweets, and food, never mind, i don't think i've done bad at all with my real food.  it's just that there hasn't been a whole lot of it! 
REALLY.  I have been living on JUNK for almost 2 weeks.  I have driven to the store, with the excuse of going to get milk or some other necessity to get candy or cookies or brownies or chocolate, or...whatever else i saw! 
the number, the number i saw this morning was 10, yes, that is TEN pounds (ok, 9.8) heavier than my lowest, which i was back to in November! 

I have slacked on my water, i have not watched or cared about what i was eating, I wasn't even going to work out or run....for almost a MONTH!! 
they thought i had to have gone out of town since i'm usually there 6 days a week most weeks!

It's been rainy and cold (something i'm not use to here) and i HATE it!  i don't want to do ANYTHING!

Today, i'm going to change all of this.  I did go work out 2 days this week (Mon. and Tues.) and i WILL go at least 5 days a week again.  I WILL run at least 2 days a week (will work myself up to 3miles a day/ 4 times a week), i WILL drink my water (today i put 6 bottles on the counter that i have to drink by bedtime, to make sure i drink enough), and i will NOT eat junk.

I have come to far, i don't have far to go, and i'm NOT giving up now! 

I got side tracked for a little bit, but today, i'm getting back on track. 
Monday, i will either email or call my Dr. and discuss my gain, my finicky band, and see if he will compromise with me and hopefully put back .25 cc's (he took out .5 cc's of the 1 cc he had taken out and put back the month before).

I plan to put my deposit down on my surgery date by the end of January (i'm planning to have PS in April), but if i can't maintain (or even lose more) than my lowest weight, i'm not sure i should go through with it just yet.

Sorry i've been away for so long.  That's another thing i need to do.  Be accountable, here.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! I KNOW it's gonna be a GREAT ONE!!!

Wanna B thin again...is almost there! (a little further away, but i'm working my way back!!)